Shorties
by Kinktastic Snazz
Summary: Thanks to kitsune-chan for helping me out with these..... i strike terror in the hearts of all who read.
1. Mindless

Disclaimer; I don't own anything and if I did, the world of anime would be screwed.  
  
Sadistic_mind: A few ground rules, I do not mean to cause any harm whatsoever, so if your offended… who cares? No really, there is A LOT of bashing in here, but I don't mean it in a bad way.  
  
Nuriko: Yeah you do.  
  
S_M: Where the hell did you come from?!?  
  
Nuriko: The Land of Oz.  
  
S_M: Whatever, anyway, have fun reading these, if they suck, don't hesitate to tell me in a review.  
  
Nuriko: They won't tell you, they have a feeling they'd get hurt.  
  
S_M: No, but you will, now go away!!!!!  
  
Nuriko: Nuh-uh… I love you.  
  
S_M: Stop jacking off of my shorty, now go AWAY!  
  
Nuriko: You hurt my feelings.  
  
S_M: Want me to make up to you?  
  
Nuriko: Heh heh. With what?  
  
S_M: *pulls at flame-thrower* I'll give you five seconds to run.  
  
Nuriko: Eee-yipe, I'm going! *runs off into nowhere.*  
  
S_M: That's better, now enjoy my shorties, buh bye now. Heh heh heh heh heh… oops, am I still on?  



	2. Shorties Numero Uno

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.... oh how I wish I did.  
  
Shorties  
  
DO NOT TAKE OFFENSIVE MEASURES TO THE FOLLOWING...OR ELSE!!!!!  
  
  
[I Love You]  
  
Nuriko: Oh, Hotohori, LOVE YOU!  
Hotohori: That's what you think...  
Nuriko: Duh  
Hotohori: Ok, if that's what you think....*cough*fag*cough*  
Nuriko; I do think that....*cough*loser*cough*  
Both: *glare*  
The End  
  
[I Love You....not]  
  
Miaka: I love you, Tamahome!!  
Tamahome: You didn't say it like Nuriko did.  
Miaka: I LOVE YOU!  
Tama: Who?  
Miaka: YOU!  
Tama: Me?  
Miaka: YUP!  
Tama: Stop yelling!  
Miaka: OK!  
Tama: Bye, I don't love you *loves*  
Miaka: THAT'S OK!!!  
*ceiling collapses on Miaka*  
The End  
  
[Too Young]  
  
Chiriko: Hey Mitsukake... I love you.  
Mitsukake: ?! Aren't you a little young?  
Chiriko: Hai, but I love you.  
Mitsukake: I could be arrested for assaulting a minor!  
Chiriko: So?  
Mitsukake: Um.....*runs away*  
Chiriko: Bye. *dies of broken heart.*  
The End  
  
[I Slept With You]  
  
Tasuki: Hey, Koji....I'm gay.  
Koji: Really.... so you slept with me because you weren't gay?  
Tasuki: Ano.... I did it cause I felt like it.  
Koji: *lower lip trembles* You used me?  
Tasuki: Yes.  
Koji: Ok, bye...I love you.  
Tasuki: Okie Dokie.  
*leaves*  
The End  
  
[Threesome]  
  
Cloud: Hey Tifa, wanna have a threesome?  
Tifa: Sure, with who?  
Cloud: Me, you, and Vincent.  
Tifa: Ok!  
  
The End  
  
[I'm Gay]  
  
Quatre: Hey everybody! I'm gay!  
Everyone: Cool! So are we!  
Quatre: Neat, want to have an orgy?  
Everyone: Sure!  
*loud noises* (after orgy)  
Quatre: Hey everyone.... I'm not gay.  
Everyone: Cool! We aren't either!  
Duo, Heero, Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, Trieze, Zechs: The why did we do what we just did?  
Trowa: Dunno....  
*stare*  
The End  



	3. Shorties Numbah Two!

Disclaimer: I own nada....don't you feel sad for me? Don't you wish to donate thousands of dollars for my cause? Didn't think so.   
  
  
  
[Big Pimpin']  
Darien: Hello, I'm a pimp!  
Serena and Luna: And we're his bitches!  
*pimpin' noises*  
The End  
  
  
  
[What Are We Looking At?]  
  
Gene Starwind: Hey, Gilliam... I lust for you!  
Gilliam: Do you really?  
Gene: Yes, I lust for you ass especially.  
Gilliam: I have no ass.  
Gene: Oh, then what was I looking at?  
Gilliam: My breasts?  
Gene: You have no breasts.  
Gilliam: The what was I looking at?  
Gene: Dunno.  
*stare*  
The End  
  
[Tacky Tuxedos]  
  
Sailor Moon: Tuxedo Mask!? Where do you get your tuxedos?  
Tuxedo Mask: Las Vegas, whenever I spend two thousand dollars.  
Sailor Moon: So that's why they look so tacky.  
Mask: Yup.  
The End  
  
  
  
[Pie, that kills]  
  
Farfarello: Mmmmm....pie!  
Omi: Wait! I'm not done making it! It needs to cool!  
Farafello: Haha! Forget you kid! I'm eating it!  
*gets out knife and starts eating it*  
Farfarello: Ow! It burns!  
*dies*  
Omi: No!!!!  
*commits suicide by eating burning hot pie*  
*Pan out*  
The End  
  
  
  
[An Alien? Maybe...]  
  
Quatre: Hey Trowa.... are you a Latino?  
Trowa: Maybe....  
Quatre: European?  
Trowa: Maybe....  
Quatre: An alien?   
Trowa: Maybe....  
Quatre: Ricky Martin?  
Trowa: Wha-?!  
Quatre: *begins to dance to Ricky Martin's "She Bangs"*  
Quatre: And THRUST those hips! Wahoo!!  
Trowa: Nooooo!!!!  
  
The End  
  
  
  
[Hoo boy]  
  
Ranma: Hey Happosai?  
Happi: Yeah?  
Ranma: I love you.  
Happi: Really?  
Ranma: No.  
Happi: Oh, want some bras?  
Ranma: Why?  
Happi: Pure jack-off material?  
Ranma: No.  
Happi: Are you gay?  
Ranma: Maybe....  
Happi:With Ryoga?  
Ranma: Tee-hee....maybe.  
  
The End  
  



	4. Shorties Three Strikes

S_M: Yet another sadistic creation from moi! If you have problems about any of these....who cares???!!!!   
  
  
  
[Come and Kill Me]  
Relena: Heeerrrroooo! Come and KILL me!  
Heero: Hold on. Ok... done.  
Duo: Oh yeah.  
Relena: Are you coming?  
Heero and Duo: Already did.(don't worry if you don't get this)  
Relena: Kill me! You BASTARD! BITCH-FACE! WON'T YOU KILL ME  
ALREADY?! YOU FREAKIN' WIMP!  
Heero: *bang*  
Relena: *dies*  
Duo and Heero: Buahahahahahaha  
Relena: Hahaha, you can't kill me.... I am IMMORTAL!!!!  
Heero and Duo: Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!  
  
The End  
  
  
  
[What's down? I mean up, or down?]  
  
Chichiri: Hey Chiriko.  
Chiriko: Hey Chichiri.  
*stare*  
Chichiri: So, what's going up?  
Chiriko: I think you mean, what's going down.  
Chichiri: That too.  
Chiriko: The sky.  
Chichiri: That's up.  
Chiriko: Screw you! Who cares!? *leaves and falls off of a canyon.*  
Chichiri: That's down.  
  
The End  
  
  
  
[Little Teapot]  
  
Hotohori: I'm a littl teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout.   
When I get all steamed u-  
Nuriko: Shhhhhh!!!!!  
Hotohori: *on verge of tears* You don't like my singing?  
Nuriko: .................................................................no.  
Hotohori: DIE!!! * chops Nuriko into zillions of pieces*  
Nuriko: *dies*  
  
The End  
  
  
  
[Moo!]  
  
Trowa: Guess what I installed on Heavyarms?!  
Duo. Dunno  
Trowa: A siren, that way everyone will know when I'm coming!  
Heero: But we don't want everyone to know.  
Trowa: Uh-huh.  
Quatre: Nuh-uh.  
Trowa: Just wait and see, everyone will be very afraid!  
Wufei: Whatever.  
(Next battle)  
Duo: Where's Trowa?  
Heero: Dunno.  
Quatre: Well, wait! What's that noise?  
  
Moooooooooooo!!!!!  
  
Wufei: It's a giant cow!  
Duo: Help!  
Quatre: Mommy!  
Heero: Hold me!  
Relena: Ok!  
Heero: Where'd you come from?  
Relena: Spandex Space.  
*Bang, and Relena dies*  
  
Mooooooo!  
  
Trowa: Hahahahahaha...be afraid, be very afraid!  
  
The End  



	5. Shorties Quatre: The Finale

Sadstic: Buahahahaha......even more! How cruel am I... well this is it. Unless I get bored in office work or algebra again, then my creations will arise  
to take over the world! Feel the power or boredom and let it take over you mind!!!!!!! Ano......sorry 'bout that. Went a little nuts didn't I? ^_^;  
  
  
  
  
  
[Bird Baby]  
  
Zechs: Hey Trieze, if you have another kid, you know what it'll look like?  
Treize: What?  
Zechs: A Bird Baby!  
Trieze: The horror *shaves eyebrows off*  
Zechs: That won't help, now it'll be a No Eyebrows Baby!  
Trieze: Waaaiiittt... I'm sleeping with you. And guys can't have babies.  
Zechs: Oh yeah.....well It could happen.  
  
The End  
  
  
  
[Leather Whip]  
  
Amiboshi: Know what?  
Suboshi: What?  
Amiboshi: I am a sex slave that heeds to a leather whip.  
Suboshi: Who do you belong too?  
Amiboshi: Secret.  
Suboshi: I am your brother, tell me. Please?  
Amiboshi: Ok, I am a sex slave to... come closer.  
*Suboshi edges closer*  
Amiboshi: To.... myself.  
Suboshi: Ano........is that even possible?  
Amiboshi: Wanna free demonstration/  
Suboshi: Sure.  
* crazy laughter and funny noises fill room*  
  
The End. 


End file.
